


Can You Use Lube For That?

by AlreadyBoss



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Crack, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Ridiculous, Vibrators, haunted sex toys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-05
Updated: 2017-09-05
Packaged: 2018-12-24 07:44:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12008205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlreadyBoss/pseuds/AlreadyBoss
Summary: “You think your what is haunted now?” Surely he'd misheard. There was no way-“My vibrator,” Stiles answered with alarming sincerity.Well. He hadn't misheard after all.





	Can You Use Lube For That?

**Author's Note:**

> A slightly cleaned up a little version of a fill for a prompt on tumblr I was asked to post here as well. [my tumblr](https://bedtimestorieswithboss.tumblr.com/) if anyone wants to check me out there.
> 
> On the rating: I don't find this explicit, but I've been told it rides the line between M and E pretty hard, so take care with that.

“You think your what is haunted now?” Surely he'd misheard. There was no way-

 

“My vibrator,” Stiles answered with alarming sincerity. 

 

Well. He hadn't misheard after all. Peter rubbed his temple. “Why in gods name do you think you have a haunted vibrator?”

 

“It keeps turning itself on and off.”

 

Peter stared at him waiting for more. Apparently there wasn't going to be more. “That's hardly a sign of supernatural activity.”

 

A rather alluring blush spread over the bridge of Stiles’ nose, but he started at Peter with a challenge in his eyes. “It's only at very specific times. It started with just coming on by itself, but only when there was someone else in the room with me. The one time Lydia came over it turned on the highest setting and wouldn't turn off when I tried. We had to leave and go to the library because the buzzing was so bad.”

 

Peter just stared at him. Again. He felt entirely justified in the behavior as it was clearly the only appropriate response in this situation. “You said on and off, but that was just on,” Peter asked after the silence threatened to stab him in the neck with its sharp edge. 

 

Curiously, Stiles flushed even deeper and finally looked away. “It was like the thing was fucking with me.”

 

Peter blinked. “I want you to know there are so many things to say to that I don't even know where to start.”

 

“Take the high road and focus on the problem at hand,” Stiles deadpanned. 

 

“The problem,” Peter drawled as slowly as possible. “The vibrator you think is haunted? That problem?”

 

Stiles shuffled nervously and rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. “Yeah that one.”

 

Peter let a smirk that was probably to close to a leer to really count settle over his face. “Ok, I'm very focused. Please keep telling me about your vibrator.”

 

“You're a fu- you know what? Not gonna set you up for that one.”

 

Peter raised an eyebrow. “A wise choice.”

 

Stiles sighed. “Okay, so look, you have to understand that I knew someone was fucking with me okay? I had to test it.”

 

Oh.  This was going to be good. Peter grinned with just enough fang to hint at the hungry edge this conversation was forging in him.  “What did you do?”

 

Stiles smirked a little and shrugged. “What people normally do with vibrators.”

 

Peter let the pity he felt for Stiles bleed into his face. “There’s many a number of things one can do with a vibrator; implying otherwise shows a distinct lack of creativity that I frankly find disappointing Stiles.”

 

Stiles threw his hands up in the air. “Fine! I was boring and fucked myself with it. Are you happy now?”

 

“Indubitably,” Peter replied, no hint of the lust now licking at his insides in his tone. “What happened then?”

 

Stiles slumped, visibly distraught about this next bit. Whether it was over what happened or the idea of sharing it with Peter wasn't clear.  “It turned off. Right before I was about to come. Every. Single. Time.”

 

Peter fought down a growl at the mental image of a sweaty, desperate Stiles frantically pumping a vibrator into his oversensitive body, his other hand working his cock hard enough to chafe, and failing to find completion. It was a delicious fantasy. “How many times did you try this?” At Stiles’ dubious look he added, “for science of course.”

 

“Of course.” Stiles rolled his eyes.  “Uh, I lost count after like the seventh time.”

 

Both of Peter’s eyebrows shot up.  “That seems excessive. After the first few times I would have thought you could be sure of the outcome.”

 

Stiles blushed and looked at the floor. “At a certain point it became less about testing a theory and more about needing to get off. I was desperate dude.”

 

Peter clicked his tongue. “I think someone just has a kink for being denied.” He stalked forward, letting every inch of the predator he was roll through his body. “I say you and I spend some time exploring that, and then we go take a look at your possessed sex toy.”

 

A wide, eager grin curled up the corners of Stiles’ mouth. He began backing down the hall, unerringly finding Peter’s bedroom despite having never been in it. “Haunted.”

 

“Whatever,” Peter said as he closed the difference between them.

 

***

 

_ Many hours and many (denied) orgasms later... _

 

“What's the difference between haunted and possessed?” Peter asked while they both stared at the vibrator on Stiles’ bed. The lurid purple, sparkly, rather large vibrator on Stiles’ bed.

 

“We get to do an exorcism.” Stiles somehow managed to say with a straight face.

 

On the bed the vibrator buzzed to life spontaneously. It seemed rather angry.

 

“Huh.” Peter continued to stare with his arms crossed over his chest. “How does one go about exorcising a vibrator?”

 

“Fuck if I know.” Stiles shrugged half-heartedly. “Holy water maybe?” He paused for a second then continued with, “you think water based lube would work?”

 

They both tilted their heads to watch as the thing vibrated right off the bed and started to zzt-zzt its way across the floor like it was making a bid for freedom. Of course, for all they knew it might have been.

 

Peter raised a judgemental eyebrow. “Probably not.”

 

“Right, right.”

 

Neither of them said anything for long moments, just watched the pulsing sex toy wriggle on the floor.

 

Finally Stiles broke the silence to pipe up with, “you think if we took it to Deaton we could get him to make a facial expression?”

 

Peter grinned. He knew there was a reason he was hung up on this boy. “I think if we don’t take the opportunity to try we will never forgive ourselves.”

 

***

 

_ Many, many hours and many attempts to exorcise (with lube) the vibrator later... _

 

Deaton stared inside the violently vibrating box emotionlessly. When he finally looked up he asked, “but why’s it purple?” with a surprising amount of dismay in his voice.


End file.
